this is a special saturday, because it's probably the first that he is not with me. i have been forbidding myself to think of exactly how long more there is to go, in case it generates weakness instead of energy. sounds good? yes, it sure is.

i wonder if it's considered growth in me, but let's just be positive and hope that it lasts. so you see, welcoming and accepting that another day has passed is a new habit to keep. with additional incentives like some sms or say a short phone call before he turns in, i think i'll content with that.

forever just takes a simple decision

i'm living my days to the fullest as it can be now without my significant other. getting ahead of tutorials, tidying up my room, shopping for chinese new year, spending more time with my parents on his behalf.. just so that lionel can be proud to know that his crybaby is not weeping away behind his back.


i'm in love with a smiley face, and i'm waiting for him to be back safely.