omgggggggg.. i am finally going to see him tomorrow! not something i am expecting actually but it's definitely a pleasant surprise. tomorrow will be a good day, i just know it! (and then letting out a big WHEEE)

anyway, lionel's drunk right now. probably had quite abit for him to be sending alien messages to me. as much as i wish to hear from him, i guess it can't be helped. i just hope his hangover will not be that bad the next day.


my beloved, welcome back.. hugs!

finally, i've survived one week. seven days. is it short? yeah, it's pathetically short actually. it's supposed to be. but someone cast a spell on my world and it felt incredibly long to spend. right now, probably another week to go.. (eyes brighten up and dim again)

my beloved, i did up my resume this afternoon. at one glance, it very much looks like just a fact sheet of my qualifications and achievements, but you know.. you're always on my mind when i was doing it! i seriously hope this resume would be able to grant me a decent job to support our family in future.. to allow us to hold true to our plans.. to create a blissful family with lil lionel and lil rain hehe.


♥ lionel's oversized jacket is so warm so warm.

the rain just gets more and more unfriendly each day, my umbrella almost got blown away by the strong wind that came along with it. was weather as bad at his side? i really hope he does not fall sick from this, especially now that he is inside the camp and i won't be seeing him anytime soon.

on the bus home today, i'm sitting behind this couple and the girl is resting her head on the shoulder of the boy. a really nostalgic sight.. well, just that lionel would be the one taking a nap on mine instead when we are travelling. thinking back of all the times we have spent together, i really think that.. anything is better than not having him beside me at all.

it's been the sixth day. i miss him more and more by the second. sometimes i stop and stone, imagining how it would be like the next time i see him. he would open his arms widely, and i'll run to him for the tightest hug ever, take deep breath of his natural smell that drives me crazy, and tuck my head against his chest. sniff sniff.


our 11th month anniversary is coming, are you as excited as i do?

it's the fifth day, another tiring day in school with all the lectures and thinking about lionel everytime i feel i need a break from studying. exactly what he did as well.. when he is feeling exhausted from all the training.

talked to him for quite long over the phone just now, and it feels just like he have never gone too far away from me, like his voice can fill all the gap in. i'm greedy to have needed that time from him when he could be resting after a long day, and i would like to thank him for understanding how much it matters to me.

anyway, green hornet is going to be in cinema soon. everytime the thriller is on, it make me so excited and to watch the movie with you! i just have this feeling that the movie will be great, and even better if we watch it together.. like always.


the rain came in rather chilly today, i wished i had your warmth.

as expected, it's me again. it's just the forth day, and i must say time is moving really slowly against my favour. i can't believe i am not even half way near seeing him yet when it felt like forever. i guess absence does make the heart grow fonder.. and i'll tell you why this is true.

this afternoon, i was lying down on my back rather comfortably, with my eyes closed. somehow, it's as if i can hear him call out to me, 'baby..' i know perfectly well that he's not there, but for once, i am really reluctant to open my eyes. that familiar feeling.. it's just too precious to be lost in an instant. too precious.. how regretful.

every 'i miss you' that i say simply resonates with my heart strings and drives me to the verge of tears. i wonder if i can ever be the strong self i want to be, but there again.. for lionel, everything is worth it, girl.


i love you, and i really miss you.

breakfast today is lionel's favourite, roti prata. eating the food that he likes, i recalled how adorable he was murmuring 'prata' and making it into a song while he's still asleep. i wished i could hear it again then and laugh at how adorable he was.

prata.. prata.. prata..

sundays without my love around me feels so much more empty. i'll usually feel rather upset on this last day of the week because that would be the end of my rest. instead, i felt kind of relieved today. relieved time has passed faster, relieved that it's bringing him back to me in no time.

i just heard his voice again, and all my armours broke loose. nothing surprising from me, but i seriously thought i would be able to hold it there. well.. or should i say at least this is how i wish to be.


i'm not ready for life without you around, do you hear me?

this is a special saturday, because it's probably the first that he is not with me. i have been forbidding myself to think of exactly how long more there is to go, in case it generates weakness instead of energy. sounds good? yes, it sure is.

i wonder if it's considered growth in me, but let's just be positive and hope that it lasts. so you see, welcoming and accepting that another day has passed is a new habit to keep. with additional incentives like some sms or say a short phone call before he turns in, i think i'll content with that.

forever just takes a simple decision

i'm living my days to the fullest as it can be now without my significant other. getting ahead of tutorials, tidying up my room, shopping for chinese new year, spending more time with my parents on his behalf.. just so that lionel can be proud to know that his crybaby is not weeping away behind his back.


i'm in love with a smiley face, and i'm waiting for him to be back safely.

it's a friday today, the day i have possibly my longest class, the day that lionel went for his first day of training and i will not be able to see him till chinese new year comes.

this morning, i woke up and as usual, checking on my phone is the first thing i did after opening my eyes. YES! there's a morning sms from lionel. probably sent before he was sent for hell training because there's no more response until the night falls.

counting down.. day by day..

how do i feel now? honestly, not too extreme emotions at the moment. i guess it's all psychological. all would be fine until the floodgate of your thoughts breaks and you're consistantly reminded of how long you will not be seeing him. in my case, 2 weeks. so well, i guess i just have to take it like it's just another day he has to stay in camp, and keep this going for as long as i need to.


please come back safely, i miss you.

have you ever felt that you have so much to tell someone but when you try to formalise your thoughts, your mind just goes (zooom) blank?

have you ever thought that something is just missing but you couldn't articulate a thing about it?

have you ever wished that you do not need to speak to be understood?



i did.. but your love is and has been my comfort, Lionel.